


Try Me on for Size

by waywardavengers (herax97)



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Bodyswap, Bullying, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Hate to Love, Rewrite, Spitfire - Freeform, WallArt, wally/artemis - Freeform, wallyxartemis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 17:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2859224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herax97/pseuds/waywardavengers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't need some useless archer, supposedly having my back," Wally scoffed.</p><p>"I'm useless? You're the one that counts on his freaky-superpowers to save the day. You don't have any skills, except for maybe annoying everyone on this team." </p>
<p>The infamous soul-switch, now with Spitfire. A rewriting of an unfinished story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Wally Snaps

**Author's Note:**

> After almost three years of not updating an old story of mine, with the same plot, I decided to start afresh and write a reboot of some sorts. And so I have decided to post it here as well. Hope it is satisfactory.

**Bialyan Desert  
November 15, 02:32 AM**

It had started out as a simple mission. Hell, it had barely been a mission. It had been pitched to the team as a simple check-in, with Batman forbidding them to engage if they came into any trouble. Starting trouble between Bialya and the heroes of America was not part of the mission. Of course, the word simple had a very twisted meaning in the Young Sidekick's Vocabulary For Missions. That is why the small squad of heroes found themselves shielding themselves from a rain of bullets in the freezing Bialyan desert in the middle of the night. 

“M'gann, what's the location of the bioship?” Robin's voice carried over the droning noise of gunfire, followed by the whiz of an arrow flying through the air, aimed at the enemy. 

“I don't know, I can't make contact with her,” the young martian cried back, flinging away one of the soldiers that had made it too close to their current hide out. 

“Something must be blocking out the telepathic signal,” Aqualad suggested, risking a look over the hill of sand posing as their shelter, with Artemis's arrows and Robin's explosives covering him. Behind the growing mass of soldier, he suddenly spotted what was out of the ordinary. “There! Behind the soldiers. That machine must be the reason for our lack of telepathic contact.”

Robin risked a look as well, barely catching a glimpse as a bullet flew past his head, prompting him to dodge once again. “We need to shut down that machine if we're going to retreat safely,” he spoke directly to Kid Flash, who nodded. “Miss M, we need you and Artemis to provide cover as Kid Flash gets me to the machine. Superboy and Aqualad, try to avert as many soldiers as you can. We don't want _any_ casualties.” The final sentence was delivered almost exclusively to Superboy, who grunted in annoyed agreement. 

At the quiet count of three, the team split up, Kid Flash sprinting off with Robin clutching onto his back. Miss Martian averted the bullets heading their way, Artemis trying her best to take care of any soldiers that weren't being drawn away by Aqualad and Superboy. As Kid Flash neared the machine, the plan seemed to working out. That was when the soldiers brought out their trump card.

The sudden seize in gunfire was a bad sign and as Artemis fired yet another trick arrow at an oncoming soldier, her stomach dropped. At least five of the soldiers had gotten their hands on a large grenade launcher and they were aiming at every teammate. “M'gann!” Artemis just managed to warn before she had to sprint away from her own oncoming attack. 

The grenade meant for the archer landed a few feet away, the force of the explosion throwing Artemis off her feet. She rolled to a stop, looking up just in time to see M'gann's protective shield crack under the explosion. The martian cried out as she was blasted back, landing somewhere on the sand a good distance away from Artemis. 

Somewhere further to her left, she heard Superboy's enraged cries and the sound of a heavy beating followed. Getting to her feet and wincing, Artemis saw soldiers flying in every direction and caught a glimpse of Aqualad's aquatic swords. That just left... At the sound of another explosion, Artemis's attention moved over to where the machine was located.

Seeing a familiar flash of yellow, she ran off. Trying to locate Robin and Kid Flash while simultaneously firing off arrows at the remaining soldiers, she almost tripped over the duo. Helping them to their feet, Robin shouted at them to get to the machine before disappearing into the crowd of soldiers. 

“I've got you covered! Go!” Artemis shoved at Kid Flash, pushing him to close the distance between them and the machine. Backing up towards her teammate, Artemis tried her best to keep up with the onslaught of soldiers and bullets, catching an occasional glimpse of Robin amidst them. “Hurry it up!” she urged, now mere feet away from Kid Flash, who was messing with the machine.

“I'm trying, just get off my back!” he growled back, making Artemis want to aim her arrows at the speedster instead of the soldiers. Another bullet flew past and she took down another soldier but they were slowly cornering her and Kid Flash. Without the telepathic link, she couldn't call for assistance.

“Come on!” she shouted, going to pull another arrow but finding that she only had one remaining, an explosive one, and if she fired it at this range, the explosion would be too close. “Kid...”

“Almost there!” was the worried reply but almost there wasn't good enough. Clenching her jaw, Artemis pulled out the last arrow, firing it into the group of soldiers. Before it made contact, she turned on the spot and jumped over to Wally, pushing them both as far away from the explosion as possible. 

As they hit the ground, she felt the scorching heat burn over them. What was worse, she could hear an eerie noise coming from the machine next to them. “What the hell were you thinking?” Kid Flash suddenly grumbled from beneath her and as he started to get to his feet, Artemis saw a bright light coming to life within the machine. 

Artemis frantically grabbed at the yellow suit, trying to pull him back down as she cried out, “Wally, get down-” 

The light seemed to illuminate the whole desert, somehow knocking both Kid Flash and Artemis backwards, before disappearing completely. Artemis stared up at the pitch dark sky for a few moments, eyes once again adjusting to the darkness after the onslaught of brightness. Finally, she sat up, realizing that what she'd thought was the machine blowing up was actually... quite anti-climatic. 

“Artemis! KF!” All of a sudden, hands were crowding them, pulling them up to their feet and half ushering, half dragging them towards the bio-ship. Besides them, Superboy was carrying the now-shut-down machine towards the entrance. It wasn't until the ship was in the air that anyone spoke. Sadly for Artemis, that anyone was Wally.

“What the hell was that, Artemis? Were you _trying_ to blow us both up or is your aim really getting that sloppy?” he accused, turning his seat so he could follow the statement with an angry glare. The air in the bio-ship was filled with static and before Kaldur could try to ease the tension, Artemis had risen from her seat.

“Are you really that thick?” she shot back, glaring at him from underneath her mask. “I was trying to save us both, you ungrateful piece of-” 

“Oh, I didn't realize your definition of “saving” was setting off an explosion a few feet away from us _and_ a potentially life-threatening device,” Wally cut in, now also standing up from his chair, pushing his cowl off his face.

“Without me, you'd be dead. Twice. You'd do good to remember that the next time you wanna shout at me for saving your life. I mean, are you really that misogynist that the fact that a girl -with no superpowers I might add- saves your life, gets your panties in a bunch?” Artemis had stomped up to Wally, staring him down despite the fact that he had a few inches on her in height. 

“I was doing just fine saving myself before you came along and I would have continued to be fine. I don't need some useless archer, supposedly having my back,” Wally scoffed. Megan stepped up, putting a hand to Artemis's shoulder, which she shook off. 

“I'm useless? You're the one that counts on his freaky-superpowers to save the day. You don't have _any_ skills, except for maybe annoying everyone on this team with your stupid crush on Megan. I'm sorry I ever saved your stupid ass. You won't have to worry about it ever happening again.” 

Before Wally could retort, Artemis had stormed off into the far corner of the bio-ship, taking a seat there. Silence reigned as Wally huffed stubbornly and returned to his own seat. It was a few moments before Robin whistled, meeting Wally's gaze. “Dude, that was kind of harsh,” he said quietly, earning a scoff from the redhead.

“She dished as good as she got,” he retorted, his voice suggesting that that was the end of discussion. Robin got the clue, turning in his chair and backing off. 

As soon as the bio-ship landed and entered Mount Justice, Artemis had disappeared, the zeta-tubes already announcing her departure as the rest of the team stepped into the cave. Fully aware of everyone's gaze stuck on him, Wally ignored them, heading for the zeta-tubes as well, hearing the quiet chatter start before the robotic voice drowned it out.

…....

**Gotham City  
November 15, 04:13**

_Stupid, brain-dead, cocky, arrogant, smug bastard, thinking he's better than me just because he can run, strutting around his stupid latex suit, thinking he's all that, he can't even save his own life and then he gets pissed at me..._

Artemis breathed harshly as she put away her bow and quiver, tossing every piece of clothing she took off at the wall, imaging a certain freckled face as her target. “I'm useless?” She laughed to herself, pulling out her scrunchie and flinging it at the imaginary target. “He's the one that's useless...” she muttered, her anger seeming to seep away as she put on her nightshirt, leaving behind an empty void. 

The worst part had been the pity she had seen in her other teammates' eyes. They'd felt sorry for the insults Wally had been throwing her way and Artemis hated it. She didn't want their pity. She wanted their respect but with Wally constantly beating her down – one could only guess why he persisted with this disliking of her – it was easier said than done. 

Trying her best to avoid thinking about the real impact Wally's words had had, Artemis pulled up her covers and settled into bed with a frown. Despite anger and – even though she'd never admit it- hurt, coursing through her body, Artemis was able to fall asleep quite quickly, exhaustion and her aching body forcing her to sleep. 

…....

**Central City  
November 14, 04:16**

As per usual, Wally crept into his parents' bedroom, letting them know that he was home safely and, y'know, not dead. Trudging upstairs into his bedroom, his feet heavy, Wally skipped a visit into the bathroom, too tired and pissed off and too... everything, to brush his teeth and whatever else. 

After tripping twice and cursing a few more times, Wally gave up on trying to get off his outfit, settling for throwing off his cowl, shoes and gloves and dropping limp onto the bed. Rolling onto his back, he stared at the poster-covered ceiling. With a heavy sigh, he began to feel guilt seep into his system. 

He knew Robin was right, he'd been _waayy_ harsh but Artemis was just so... Ugh. He wasn't even sure why she infuriated him so much. Maybe it was her swagger, her attitude or the fact that she constantly made fun of his not-so-small crush on Megan. Whatever it was, she got under his skin. Still... she had almost looked hurt back in the bio-ship and she _had_ had his back, even though she'd tackled him and almost blown them both to pieces...

With an aggravated noise, he rolled onto his side, ignoring the annoyance of trying to sleep in his full-body suit. Thankful that tomorrow was a Sunday and not a school-day, Wally stared at his wall before exhaustion finally kicked in and he fell asleep. 

…...


	2. In Which They Panic

**Central City**   
**November 14, 09:14 AM**

“ _Wallman, huh? Wow, love the uniform. What, exactly, are your powers?”_

_Vision moving from the floor, the owner of the snarky voice was revealed. Wally felt his heart skip a beat, eyes roaming over the exposed stomach, the well-toned arms and the silky-looking blond hair._

_Getting to his feet, he cocked his head to the side, taking in the uniform and how well it seemed to fit this... well, fit stranger. He itched to know how the blonde looked under the concealing mask. The gray eyes made her look so... mysterious. Intriguing. She wasn't on Megan's level of hot, of course, but she looked like she was number one in her own category of... something. And Wally sort of liked it._

That morning, not unlike many other mornings, Artemis awoke with a startled gasp and cold sweat running down her back. As per usual, a dream was to blame. However, she couldn't remember what she'd been dreaming about, it had been all fuddled and... strange. Speaking of strange, something felt... off.

Not quite able to put her finger on it yet, Artemis yawned and sat up in bed. Her first conscious thought was annoyance as memories from a few hours ago resurfaced. _Stupid Wally._ Thinking to herself that she would avoid the cave today and that way, avoid the asshole, Artemis finally pulled herself out of bed. And yelped.

All at once, her senses told her that there was a reason to freak out, as each one screamed out various facts. The stabbing pain in her foot from stepping on something, the smell of food and sweat and – dare she say it – boy, the lack of the sound of Gotham traffic outside her window and last but not least, her eyes adjusting to the darkness and alerting her to the fact that this was definitely not her own room.

Only by training did Artemis manage to not freak out completely. Instead, she sat back down on the bed and assessed the situation. That took about four seconds as she glanced down and noticed an obnoxiously familiar ensemble. And, even more disturbingly, the lack of breasts.

Now thoroughly freaked out, Artemis dared to step out of the bed again, hearing and feeling something she did not want to know what was, crack under her feet. After some fumbling and tripping, her hand thankfully landed on a light switch. Eyes burning from the brightness's assault, she blinked a few times, trying and failing to calm her rising pulse.

To regain some sense of calm, Artemis backed against the nearest wall, taking in her environment. A room – a messy room – most likely a boy's. She had never been here before and after holding her breath for a few moments, she felt assured that she was alone. Which also meant that she had no one to beat up for answers. Although one person that she wanted to beat up came to mind, and she was – for some reason – wearing his costume.

Once she'd finally calmed herself down, Artemis carefully tread around the room, hoping to find some clue as to where she was and what was going on. The answer, albeit a very confusing one, practically slapped her in the face once she passed by a mirror.

Registering the burning red hair, the freckles, the vibrantly green eyes and the disgustingly yellow suit, all bound together by an expression of pure and utter horror, Artemis suddenly felt the situation was a little more clear. If not ten times more confusing. And disgusting.

“That's it. I'm going to have to kill him.”

…....

 **Gotham City  
** **November 14, 09:30 AM**

Wally awoke to an extremely annoying buzzing sound and he groaned in his sleep, hand reaching out for a second pillow to shield his ears from the rude noise trying to disturb his sleep. Sadly, he found no pillow, but thankfully the noise soon seized. With a content sigh, Wally settled back into bed. And realized that this bed felt nothing like his bed and what the hell was going on where was he?

In a crazed scramble, Wally made an attempt to sit up, managing to tie himself up in the covers and fall not-so-gracefully to the floor. Letting out a pained grunt, he struggled to release himself from his self-made prison, finally managing it. Once he'd gotten to his feet, Wally sighed in relief before remembering why exactly he'd rushed out of bed in a frenzy.

His eyes now adjusted to the darkness, Wally realized that not only was his bed not his bed, his room wasn't his room. But if this wasn't his room, where was his room? And where was he? His fatigue was aggressively shoved away by the panic rising up in his throat and as he started to hyperventilate, he stumbled over to the window.

Pushing back the shades, Wally at least felt thankful for the fact that he knew which city he was in. But why was he in Gotham? He remembered falling asleep in his uniform in his own bed after the mission last night. If this was another one of Dick's stupid jokes...

As a shiver crawled down his spine, Wally felt aware of how un-spandexed he felt. Glancing down, he sucked in a panicked breath and resisted the urge to faint. Sidekicks don't faint. They just panic in a very heroic way because _they suddenly have boobs and girl legs oh my god what is going on?!_

Backing away from the window, Wally's back hit a chest of drawers, making him yelp _oh my god I have the voice of a girl why am I a girl oh no oh shit_ and trip in another direction. When his oh-so feminine hands came in contact with something cold, Wally's brain took a few moments to register that it was a mirror. However, when it finally did, he could hardly suppress a joyous sound. A mirror. Just what he needed. Now he just needed some light to see properly.

Making out the outline of a lamp on the chest of drawers he'd run into, Wally fumbled for a light switch. Once the room was illuminated, he turned back to the mirror without a second thought. It didn't take him long to regret that decision, as he had not been ready for what faced him. For a moment, he prayed someone just had a really life-like, really creepy and full-sized photo of Artemis... that just so happened to copy his every movement _oh god, this is the weirdest dream ever._

Distracting him from his attempts to wake himself up, the buzzing sound was heard again and this time, Wally could see the light coming off the sound's owner. Practically tripping over his own feet in trying to get to the phone, he grabbed it just as he slid to the floor. The screen flashed with the words _Asshole calling_ and Wally barely dared answer. But he did anyway.

“Hello?” he answered warily, flinching at the voice leaving his – was it even classified as his anymore? - mouth.

“I am going to kill you!”

In his panic, Wally almost dropped the phone. That had been his voice, right? That had been him, threatening to kill... him. Oh god, this was too confusing.

“Uh... why?” he replied dumbly, not really sure how to respond to himself as he lay here on the floor in this strange room, wearing Artemis's body ( _ew)._

“Because I'm in _your_ room, in _your_ body and I can only assume you stole mine and I want. It. Back.”

A pause.

“Artemis?”

“Of course it's Artemis, you thickheaded, body-stealing excuse for a person,” came the harsh reply and Wally winced. Why couldn't this just be a nightmare? A really disturbing, realistic nightmare that gets you sent to extensive therapy sessions. If it wasn't so unmanly, Wally would have burst into tears.

“For the record, I didn't ask for this,” Wally shrieked back, pacing around the small room at a pace he found much too slow. A sound from the outside of the room caused him to stop in his tracks and almost fall on his face again.

“Artemis? Are you awake?”

In a state of panic, Wally thought about hiding in the closet or maybe under the bed but first he needed to figure out whether or not he was going to throw up from stress. “Help me,” he hissed into the phone he still clutched against his ear.

“Get dressed, don't talk to anyone, don't _touch_ anything and get to Mount Justice. Now.”

Nodding to himself, Wally started to pace once more. Alright. He could do that. He knew of a zeta in Gotham. “Alright. I can do that,” he whispered, swallowing thickly. Why did everything always happen to him? And why did it have to happen with Artemis?

“Hurry,” was the last thing he heard his own voice say before the line went dead. Standing dumbly in the middle of the room for a few moments, Wally finally moved, practically ripping out drawers in search for something, anything to – pants! Excellent. Jumping around the room, still holding onto the phone for dear life, Wally managed to get into dark gray sweatpants.

A jacket hung next to the bedroom door and after throwing that on as well, Wally took a deep breath and opened up the door.

“Artemis?” the voice from before greeted him, setting off panic alarms. However, he was more scared of Artemis dismembering him than whatever was out there, so he padded barefoot into the hall. A not-so-scary-looking woman, in a wheelchair he might add, greeted him. Wally forced a horrible smile as he sort of scooted past her, wondering if this was Artemis's mother, sister or just her roommate. Not like she really talked a lot, so Wally wouldn't know. Or care. At all.

“Gotta go,” he squeaked, as it felt weird and sort of rude to leave without saying anything, and before the woman could even get out a reply, Wally had shoved his feet into a pair of sneakers and vanished through the front door.

_Don't panic, Wally. Whatever you do, just stay calm, and don't panic._

Stepping out into the cold Gotham air, Wally almost ran into a passerby, who shot him and his sloppy attire a strange look.

_Okay. I'm panicking. I am so panicking. Man, am I screwed._

…...

 **Central City  
** **November 14, 09:45 AM**

After hanging up on Wally – or herself, she supposed – Artemis allowed herself a brief moment of freaking out, which basically consisted of her curling up in the corner and pulling at her new, shorter and redder hair.

Regaining her composure, Artemis got to her feet and rummaged around the room for clothes, avoiding any and all mirrors. How ironic that her plan to avoid Wally's face had failed so miserably. After finally pulling on some jeans and a shirt over the spandex uniform, as getting it off was more trouble than it was worth and she did _not_ want to see any more of Wally than she had to, Artemis risked venturing outside of his room.

The coast seemed clear, so she tiptoed down the stairs, looking around for any potential setbacks. After quietly putting on shoes and a jacket, Artemis could see her freedom from the West household just inches away. Putting her hand on the doorknob, she should have realized it was too good to be true. “Wally? Come on, breakfast is getting cold.”

Wincing inwardly, Artemis risked taking a peak into the next room. Excellent. Wally's parents were sat at the dinner table, staring up at her expectantly. “Sorry,” she started, not able to hide her wince at the voice leaving her – wait, not hers, shit – mouth. “There was an... emergency. Gotta run.”

“You are not running anywhere without breakfast, young man, now sit down,” Wally's mother insisted. Artemis groaned inwardly. Of course he had caring and protective parents. What else could possibly go wrong for Artemis today?

Taking a seat at the table, not even bothering to hide her massive frown, Artemis shot the large stack of pancakes a disapproving look. When one of the two huge stacks was pushed in her direction, the disapproval turned to disgust. _Wally, you greedy pig._

….....

Once Artemis had finally escaped from Wally's parents, who were nice folks but she had not been in the mood for nice right now, the archer was able to leave the house. After a few moments of looking around, trying to figure out her position in Central, she began walking. She only knew of one zeta-tube in Central City and she prayed and hoped that it was nearby. Any minute spent in this body was a minute of her life gone to waste.

It seemed that fate had decided to give her one lucky break as Artemis had only been looking for a few minutes before she'd found the zeta-tube, yet another run down phone box. Making sure no one was watching, she casually slipped into the alley. Stepping into the smelly phone box, she couldn't help a sigh of relief upon hearing the familiar robotic voice. That relief was, however, diminished by the fact that it was announcing Kid Idiot's arrival.

The cave appeared before her eyes and the next thing she saw were her own eyes, filled with panic and staring straight at her.

“Where have you been?” she herself – or Wally – shrieked, forcing Artemis to smack herself across the head. This was so surreal. She watched Wally, in her body, groan and rub her – his? Damn it – head.

“Your parents insisted I stay for breakfast,” Artemis spat out as she grabbed Wally by the wrist, dragging him along towards the garage, hoping they would get some privacy there. As soon as she'd closed the door behind them, Artemis got a good look at what Wally had made her wear.

“Oh, so we're going for the 'I woke up like this' look?” An eerie feeling in the back of her head told her that she hadn't gone to bed wearing a bra. For the sake of Wally's well-being, she hoped she was still bra-less.

Wally had begun pacing, something she assumed he'd been doing up until she arrived, judging from the sweat on his forehead. “Do you really want to talk fashion right now? I thought a more appropriate topic would be 'What in the actual hell is going on?' although 'Why did I wake up with boobs?' is also something we can discuss.”

With an aggravated sigh, Artemis grabbed Wally by the back of her sleep shirt, stopping his pacing. “Can you please stay still, you're making me nervous,” she commented before letting him go. Wally shot her a pointed look, one that actually looked like it belonged on Artemis's face.

“I'm sorry, I didn't think I could make this situation any more stressful.” Wally took a deep breath, scrubbing his hands over his face, making Artemis's eyes narrow. Sure, on principal, it didn't matter, but she didn't like the thought of Wally rubbing his hands all over her face. Even though his hands were technically her hands.

“This is making my head hurt,” she groaned, thudding said head against the wall.

“Guess we finally have something in common. Y'know, other than each other's bodies.”

“Wally? Too soon to be making jokes about this, seeing as it's _still happening._ ”

“Right. Sorry.”

Artemis sighed, ignoring her own rules from before as she started to pace. It wasn't until her eyes started watering that she realized the exact speed at which she was pacing. Stopping dead in her tracks, she found Wally staring at her with a mix of envy and despair.

“We need to fix this,” he stated and Artemis figured that was the smartest thing he'd said all week, maybe even this whole month.

“But first, we need to figure out what caused this.” Artemis shot him a look that suggested she would like nothing more than to blame him for this, but seeing as Wally was enjoying himself about as much as she was, it was farfetched to point fingers in that direction. “I don't want to have to wear yellow spandex for the rest of my life”

“And I don't want to look like _you_ for the rest of my life. Ow! You know, you're only hurting yourself!”

…........

 


	3. In Which Embarrassment Appears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those that have left a kudos so far. Just a hint, detailed comments (good or bad) are an excellent belated Christmas present! Enjoy the awkwardness...

**Mount Justice**  
 **November 14, 12:24 PM**  
   
“Where the hell could they have hidden it?”  
   
“It was Batman's mission, so I'm willing to bet my – err, your right arm that he's got it stashed someplace safe.” Wally ignored the glare shot at him for the arm comment, closing the door to yet another empty room. “I mean, it's probably just at the Bat cave.”  
   
Artemis stomped over, grabbing Wally by the collar of the shirt, her stare speaking volumes. “You didn't think to make this _brilliant_ comment two hours ago _before_ we turned the cave upside down, searching?” she growled, both marveling at and hating the fact that Wally's body had enough strength to push her – or her body – around.  
   
A very sheepish grin spread across Wally's face, which looked so out of place on Artemis's features that she had to suppress a shiver. “Sorry,” he apologized, although he didn't sound sorry enough for her taste. Still, she let him go, for the sake of not tearing up her favorite sleep shirt.  
   
It had taken them some time to recall the events of last week together, trying to work out what could have caused their _lovely_ little switch. After a few too many stupid comments from Wally's side and even more threats from Artemis's, they'd finally arrived to the same conclusion. The bright explosion-induced light from the mystery machine had definitely been something more than a pretty light show. However, the joy of realizing _what_ had caused this was short lived, as their dilemma was still as much of a dilemma as before. And it didn't look like it was becoming any _less_ of a dilemma any time soon.  
   
“What now?” Artemis sighed in defeat, slumping into one of the couch chairs. Fatigue was starting to wear her down and she could see it in Wally that he was feeling tired as well. Not that she cared.  
   
Following the archer's lead, Wally sat down in the couch opposite, subconsciously taking good care of the body he was currently in as he sat down in a way more delicate manner than Artemis. Not only did her temper rival his by far but she currently also had super-speed and his admittedly amazing upper-body strength. It was bad enough to piss her off when she had an arsenal of arrows at her disposal.  
   
To answer her question, Wally simply shrugged weakly. “We tell the team?” he finally offered, when Artemis didn't seem likely to make any further comment, as she was too busy brooding in the corner _. Not that she would ever admit to brooding. But she broods. Like a lot. Like Batman-level brooding._ Seeing Artemis's eyes narrow, panic filled Wally. Could she hear his thoughts? Ohmygod, he was so screwed.  
   
“We can't tell the team,” she muttered, lifting a weight off Wally's shoulders. He would live to see another day. But then confusion settled in.  
   
“Why can't we tell the team?” he questioned, finding that the most obvious solution. Since they obviously weren't figuring this out for themselves, they had a much better shot with the help of their teammates. Not that Wally wasn't smart or anything. He'd just never dealt with this _exact_ situation before.  
   
Artemis huffed at that, muttering something unintelligible under her breath. Wally's nicely plucked eyebrows furrowed. “I didn't quite catch that,” came the sarcastic reply, which didn't better Artemis's mood. She rose from her chair with a flare, squaring her shoulders and Wally had to admit that she was making him look kinda intimidating. And hot. _Wait, what?_  
   
“Do you want to be the one that goes crying for help to the team because _we_ screwed up a simple mission? Or were you just planning on pinning it all on me, again?”  
   
Before Wally could even form a reply, Artemis fell back into the chair with an angry noise. Okay, yeah, he still felt kinda guilty about snapping at her yesterday but it wasn't like he was _that_ bad. Was he?  
   
“Of course not! But the team could probably help us and-”  
   
“We don't _need_ help. They have better things to do than worry about us _and_ if they find out, you can kiss all our missions goodbye,” Artemis reasoned, although maybe it wasn't _really_ a reason but it sorta made sense to Wally. Mostly because he could now imagine everyone's reaction if they found out. Robs, of course, would never let him live this down and if that wasn't bad enough, Barry would definitely rat him out to his parents. He couldn't really begin to imagine how they would react but he doubted he'd like the results.  
   
“Fine,” he finally agreed, seeing relief flicker through the green eyes staring back at him. She didn't say thank you or anything like that, because God forbid Artemis actually show gratitude. Instead, she rose to her feet, scratching at her stomach. At which point, Wally noticed the familiar yellow sticking out from under the sleeve of the shirt she had on. “You're still wearing the uniform?!”  
   
Artemis blanched slightly, tugging at the material with a false expression of ' _whaat? How did that get there?'_  
   
After what seemed like a moment of thought, her expression returned to its usual state of sass. Lovely. “Well, do you _want_ me to see you wearing nothing but your tighty-whities?”  
   
Wally gulped. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind yet. How had it not crossed his mind yet? What happened when they had to change clothes. His eyes widened. What happened if he had to pee? Now that he thought about it, his bladder was feeling sort of full.  
   
“I don't want you to see me naked!” he shouted, realizing a little too late the volume at which he was speaking. Artemis's eyes narrowed.  
   
“Do you think I _want_ to see you naked? Or better yet, for you to see _me_?” she growled back, crossing her arms over her chest, the lack of cleavage suddenly so painfully obvious and oh no, Wally's eyes had not suddenly shifted down to his own chest. “Don't make me castrate you.”  
  
Gray eyes snapped back up, portraying a nice deer-in-the-headlights look. “Sorry.” And then his eyes shifted down again and he seemed to panic. “Sorry! They're just... right there. How do I not look at them?”  
   
Artemis rose from the couch, stomping to Wally to tower over him. “You won't be able to look at them if I cut out your eyes.”  
  
Wally whimpered. “But you'd be cutting out your own eyes,” he noted quietly, shrinking slightly into the couch. That seemed to do the trick as Artemis walked away, allowing for Wally to breathe again and regain his manliness – which was an ironic thing to be attempting for obvious reasons.  
   
“We'll figure that problem out later,” she decided but Wally could see that she was still bothered by this newly discovered and uncomfortable fact. “Right now, we need to focus on keeping up appearances.”  
   
He stared back at her dumbly. “As in...?”  
   
“As _in,_ I can't exactly be walking around, ogling at girls and throwing around nerdy pick-up lines.”  
   
“I don't do that,” Wally protested, but it was a very weak attempt as, yeah, he sorta did that. But she made it sound so sleazy. He wasn't sleazy. “But I _guess_ I see your point.”  
   
A pause, where Wally weighed how much he valued his life and/or physical health. Not enough, he concluded. “That means that you can't strut.”  
   
“I. Do not. Strut!”  
   
…...  
   
 **Central City**  
 **November 14, 19:14**  
   
“-and you can't get into _any_ trouble at school. I'm under a strict 'get into trouble, no heroing for a week' rule and – stop laughing!  
   
Artemis did stop laughing but a gleeful smirk was still stuck on her face. It irritated Wally to no end. His face looked so far from charming when she twisted his mouth into that Artemis-like smirk. “Oh, stop pouting,” she practically scolded. “I wouldn't want anyone I know seeing me with that expression.”  
   
 _Right, because you have soo many friends,_ Wally thought bitterly, suppressing a shiver as the wind forced its way through his jacket.  
   
“So, we're clear on the plan? Go to school, don't draw any attention to yourself, return to Mount Justice,” Artemis cleared one last time as they came to a stop in front of Wally's house. The speedster rolled his eyes.  
   
“We're clear on the plan,” he repeated in a sigh for what had to be the seventh time today. Honestly, what sort of idiot did she take him for? He was a human being with feelings and his feelings were getting hurt over here. Not that her words were cutting very deep, since she acted like this with everyone. But still.  
   
Artemis nodded, looking about as pleased as he'd seen her all day, maybe even all week. And she didn't even look _that_ pleased.  
   
“Call me if anything goes wrong?” Artemis pushed, and for the first time, Wally could almost detect a hint of worry on her face. It was gone as quickly as it had appeared.  
   
“Same goes for you. I don't want you messing up my life,” he shot back, earning a snort from Artemis.  
   
“Not like there's a lot to mess up.”  
   
“You wound me, Artemis,” he replied, putting a hand to his heart in mock hurt. She didn't look convinced, rolling her eyes, so Wally gestured awkwardly to the house. “Just... don't mess with my parents,” he added carefully, almost a plea, and for the first time, he actually saw something... different flash in Artemis's eyes. He couldn't quite put his finger on what it was he saw but it was... almost soft. Much like the worry before, it disappeared within a flash, and Artemis headed for the house after giving him a brief nod.  
   
Wally watched her walk away, feeling like he was having an out-of-body experience as he saw himself enter the warm house. The door closed after her and Wally sighed. Off to Gotham for him. _Yay._  
   
…....  
   
 **Gotham City**  
 **November 14, 20:45**  
   
Wally had never particularly liked Gotham outside of his Kid Flash suit. It was super cool to go robber-hunting here with Rob, but other than that, Gotham always gave him an uneasy feeling. And now that he was stuck as Artemis, that uneasy feeling only grew.  
   
Despite the gray sweats and touzzled hair that Artemis had made various comments about, Wally had gotten numerous looks from very dodgy looking men and one chick that looked almost-sorta hot in a 'I will cut you' sort of way. It was giving him the creeps, if he was being completely honest, and had prompted him to walk as fast as he could. Which was strangely fast, considering the lack of powers. Maybe it was because of Artemis's long legs. Not that he really took notice of them. Y'know, in _that_ way. Cause they were just legs. Artemis's legs.  
   
He was thankful when he finally arrived at the apartment complex he'd left earlier this morning, his jaw clenching as a wolf-whistle followed him through the door. It took a lot of restraint not to head back out there and teach the guy a little something about _polite_ cat-calling, but he remembered and sort of liked Artemis's “don't draw attention to yourself” rule, so he settled for stomping up the stairs in anger.  
   
So caught up in his inner-monologue rant, Wally threw off his jacket and almost trudged all the way through the apartment and into Artemis's room without noticing the woman trying to catch his attention. One of the 'Artemis?' finally caught his attention and he swiveled around on the spot. And spotted the lady in the wheelchair aka Artemis's mom.  
   
“Bad day?” she asked and Wally shifted on his feet. He didn't want to get stuck in a drawn out conversation with Paula where he would definitely end up saying something un-Artemis-like and their secret would be blown within the hour. Or he would just lie and say he was on crack. Artemis on crack... Yeah, that sounded like a solid plan B.  
   
“You could say that,” he muttered as a reply, fiddling with the sweatpants and staring at the far corner, as if looking at Paula would allow her to see the young teenage boy residing inside her daughter ( _again, eww_ ).  
   
Strangely, Paula didn't question this any further. Instead she simply turned back to the small dinner table and resumed picking at her meal. At which point Wally realized how famished he was. Warily, he walked over, not able to shake this feeling that his cover would be blown any second. Of course, nothing happened as he took a seat and snatched a chicken leg for himself.  
   
The two ate in silence and as soon as Wally had finished another small piece of chicken, he left the table, not daring to eat any more. A very pointed 'ahem' halted his attempted escape and he slowly turned back to the table. Paula shot his plate a look and then her gaze moved towards the sink. Right. Manners.  
   
Laughing apologetically, Wally quickly washed his plate and Paula's as well, for good measure, muttering a 'good night' under his breath before disappearing into Artemis's room. Feeling like he'd just run a marathon, without his normal super-speed, of course, Wally flopped back onto Artemis's bed with a groan. A perfectly crappy ending to a perfectly crappy week. Somehow he doubted that the next week would be any better.  
   
The clock on the nightstand alerted Wally to the fact that it was only around a quarter past nine, which in no way matched how tired he felt. Deciding that he could probably do with the extra sleep, he carefully left the room and snuck into the bathroom, feeling like he was committing a B-and-E. Not that he knew how that felt, exactly. Since he was the good guy. Obviously.  
   
It wasn't any less uncomfortable this time, seeing Artemis staring back at him in the mirror. But somehow, seeing his own facial expressions mirrored on her face made her look more... human? It was probably just the 'Wally effect', making everything and everyone slightly better wherever he went.  
   
With a sigh, he picked up a lock of the now-windblown and messy, blond hair, realizing why Artemis always pulled it up. After getting his hands stuck twice in the tangly mess, Wally finally spotted a green brush on the counter. Right. Brushes. Excellent.  
   
It took a while and a few pained grunts but he finally managed to get the blond locks under control, vowing never to wear his – or Artemis's – hair down for as long as he had this body. Which he hoped wasn't long. But at least he had discovered a new found ability at brushing hair and making it all smooth and silky and soft...  
   
Wally's hands froze where they were currently brushing through the blond locks and he was quick to untangle them and pat down the hair. So he liked soft hair. Apparently. Whatever. In hopes of distracting himself from the disturbing image of his _own_ hands brushing through Artemis's hair and really liking it, Wally started a search for her toothbrush. It wasn't a long search. Because that was green, too. How predictable.  
   
Mid-brushing, he wondered why exactly he was taking care of Artemis's dental hygiene, as he wasn't even sure that she would do the same for him and his teeth. Maybe karma would help him with that. Once Artemis's teeth were clean and Wally had taken just a teensy-tiny bit of time examining them in hopes of having anything to poke fun at (he found nothing), the speedster realized there was really only one thing left to do before bed. His eyes traveled to the toilet and he gulped.  
   
 _Man up, West. Just keep your eyes fixed on the door and don't... touch anything._ A shiver of nervous anxiety and slight fear passed through him, because he just knew that Artemis would _sense_ it if he did anything to... violate her body? _Eww, eww, eww._ It just had to be _her_ body that he got stuck in. It couldn't have been that cute girl from math class or M'gann or that sexy cashier at the video game store. No. It was Artemis.  
   
Thoughts once again returning to the task at hand, Wally braced himself and lifted the toilet lid. With a deep breath, he locked his eyes on the bathroom door and loosened the strings on the sweatpants, making a promise to himself to refrain from drinking any liquids for the remainder of his time as Artemis. Karma definitely owed him a big one.

…....


	4. In Which Artemis Effs Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tad shorter than my other chapters but I felt like throwing this out here to keep things rolling. Also, cliff hangers.

**Central City  
November 14, 21:45**

Dinner with the Wests had been an excruciatingly awkward affair, to put it very, _very_ mildly. They had talked about school and Artemis had mumbled. They'd asked about heroing and she had suddenly become very engrossed in her food. And then? Artemis felt slightly sick at the mere thought. They'd asked about _girls_. The conversation had gone something like this. 

“So, Wally, is there a lovely lady in your life yet?” 

Cue Artemis laughing and catching herself after a second, trying and failing horrendously to pass it off as a cough. Thankfully, Mrs. West simply raised an eyebrow and Artemis figured that Wally was far from normal, so his mother was probably used to much stranger outbursts. “Not, uh, not yet... mom.” 

“Anyone you're interested in?” 

At this point, Artemis had gotten an overwhelming urge to announce Wally's newly discovered homosexuality but after a second thought, she realized that that was a conversation she was not willing to expand on. Getting 'the talk' from Wally's parents was _not_ something she was prepared to do now or ever, especially not about homosexuality. So she just stuffed some more food into her mouth (being Wally meant eating like Wally) and shook her head. 

“Well, I'm sure your dream girl is somewhere out there, waiting for you.” 

Artemis had been very tempted to use the steak knife to end her misery but Wally's fast healing would have screwed up that plan. Sort of like Wally's existence was screwing up her whole life at this current moment in time. And just in general in every moment in time since she had first met him. 

Thankfully, that had been the end of this short but uncomfortable conversation about Kid Jerk's love life. Artemis had practically gone into super-speed mode in her hurry to leave the table once dinner was finished. Now, in the safety of Wally's room – figuratively speaking as there were probably like 30 different health hazards here – Artemis was laying on the sheets she'd changed and staring at a bikini-wearing model on a poster taped to the ceiling. He was such a charming, little virgin. 

Despite this morning's early start and 'eventful to say the least' day, Artemis was still too wound up to feel tired. Rolling out of the bed and avoiding stepping on a pizza box, she realized that if she was going to stand staying here for even one more night, she'd have to clean. The fact that it would allow her to snoop around the room was just an extra bonus. 

When she'd asked where the vacuum was a few minutes after ten, Wally's mom had honestly teared up a bit and then – to Artemis's _great_ enjoyment – she'd hugged her. And thankfully given her the vacuum afterwards. Hopefully, his mom would now pester Wally to vacuum every day. One could dream. 

It took around 45 minutes, some very disturbing discoveries – Wally's dirty underwear was something she had never, ever wanted to see and it would probably scar her for life – and a stuffed trash bag but the room finally looked like a human being could actually live in it. The only incriminating things she'd found were a few pornographic magazines under his bed which she hadn't dared to touch and what had looked like a tiny Flash shrine in a shoebox. Of course, the fact that Wally was a sexually deprived teenager and a complete nerd-slash-fanboy was in no way a new discovery. 

Exhaustion seemed to kick in like a full on punch to the face. With a great yawn, she pulled off the shirt and groaned when she realized she still had the stupid, yellow spandex on. Once she'd removed the jeans and socks as well, she'd finally managed to locate a zipper on the damn thing. After almost tripping twice (and blaming it on Wally's stupid body) she managed to get out of the uniform and tossed it into the clothing pile she'd made in one corner of the room. 

Of course, Artemis had seen Wally half-naked once before and at the time, before she'd realized that he was a complete ass, she'd allowed herself to enjoy the view. Just a bit. He wasn't a freaking Adonis, he was just... fit. Kind of toned in a way that suited his figure. And the splash of freckles across his upper chest was admittedly a bit charming and yeah, she was going to stop admiring Wally wearing nothing but underwear (even though said underwear was red and with the Flash emblem and really fucking dorky). 

Going through the now folded clothes in his closet, Artemis pulled out some sweats to sleep in and tugged them on. After going through all the pre-sleep rituals, her eyes moved to the toilet. A sickening vision of Wally standing in front of the mirror and watching _her_ body half naked flashed through her mind and her knuckles whitened with the force of her hands gripping the bathroom counter. She hoped for his sake that he kept his eyes and hands to himself or she'd have to shove an arrow through said eyes and hands. 

Seeing as peeing in this state was pretty inevitable, Artemis wondered about the best way to do this without getting stuck with images she could never un-see. After some thought, she retrieved the cleaning gloves from Wally's room and put one on. With that, the sweats pooled down around her ankles and she took a seat on the toilet, eyes fixed on anything but the task at hand. _Oh, god. I can't believe I've practically touched Wally West's penis._

…...... 

**Central City  
November 15, 07:15**

The painfully annoying sound of Wally's alarm clock going off snapped Artemis out of her dream infused sleep, something she was almost thankful for. She was definitely used to less than comfortable dreams but this one had felt all muddled and real; more like a memory than anything else. But she could hardly remember it now. She had more important things to worry about. School. Oh, the joy. 

After groggily going through all the hygiene rituals – with the help of her now trusty cleaning glove which she kept by the toilet – Artemis opened up Wally's closet and realized that if nothing else, she could at least find the most ridiculous thing that Wally possessed in his wardrobe and make him wear it to school. Maybe someone would take pictures. However, she found something even better than a nasty colored top or a horrifying gift-from-grandma shirt. 

With an extremely pleased grin, Artemis tugged on the dark green shirt and marveled at the sight that greeted her in the mirror. The arrow emblem that took up most of the shirt made her happier than it probably should have but she didn’t care. It was just a bonus that this color clashed completely with the red of Wally’s hair. 

It took a long search but she finally found a pair of jeans that didn’t smell like boy and sweat and pizza. Pulling them on, she picked up Wally’s schoolbag which proceeded to barf up all of his books. With an almighty groan, Artemis thought about reorganizing the books but really, why bother? With one big sweep, she stuffed all of his crap back into the bag and zipped it up. Dragging it out of the room, she practically ran for the door, shouting to the Wests that she wasn’t hungry as she bolted out into the cold air. 

**Gotham City  
November 15, 08:10**

“Shit, shit, shit- ‘scuse me, please move, thank you- shit, _shiit._ ” 

Wally tugged awkwardly at the hem of the mandatory skirt, breathing harshly as he sprinted down the busy streets of Gotham. Blonde hair was slapping his face and probably the face of everyone he passed but the speed-lacking speedster really couldn’t have cared less. He was late as fuck and he knew Artemis would murder him if he put a blemish on her record (which, honestly, couldn’t be perfect but who was he to argue with Artemis logic). 

It was only due to his incessant shoving and the running that made his feet hurt in these ridiculous shoes, that Wally was able to stumble through the school’s main doors just as the bell rang and students began to filter into their classrooms. A few looks were sent his way as he stared at the number of Artemis’s locker on the note (courtesy of Artemis, of course), looking around wildly for the right one. Some of those looks were clearly judging him for the tousled hair and what he presumed was a flushed and sweaty face but the others were more… lewd. 

If it hadn’t been for his immense hurry and panic, Wally would have taken a moment to ponder why exactly Artemis was getting all of this male – and occasionally female – attention. Sure, the long legs maybe looked attractive to _someone_ in the skirt and he had grudgingly realized the charm in long, soft and blonde hair last night but come on. 

With the realization that he had, indeed, just taken a moment to ponder, Wally arrived a couple of minutes late into the right classroom, but only after he’d barged wildly into the wrong one first. Hopefully news of ‘Artemis’ running around the school looking like a crazed maniac wouldn’t travel very far or fast. 

Accepting the teachers glare, Wally slumped dejectedly into the only empty seat. A very feminine giggle reached his ears and once the grumpy teacher looked away, Wally risked a glance over his shoulder. A very smug looking brunette was whispering what Wally easily identified as gossip into her friend’s ear. 

From the mocking look Wally was receiving, it wasn’t hard to guess who was the object of their gossiping. No surprise there; with Artemis’s attitude, Wally wasn’t surprised that more people weren’t exchanging remarks about the bitchy blonde. Still, it did sort of irk him that someone other than him was complaining about Artemis. He decided he didn’t much care for the brunette. 

He decided to actually tune into what the teacher was saying and his joy at realizing that this was a chemistry class was short lived. This was like chemistry for kindergartners. With a very audible, very displeased groan, Wally slumped further into the seat, trying to hide his flushed cheeks once he realized that the damn skirt was riding up. An attempt to not think about Artemis’s legs followed which led to more pleasant thoughts about greener, more martian legs peeking out from under that pink, little skirt and with a happy expression, Wally zoned out. 

**Central City  
November 15, 15:30**

If there was ever a day that was the epitome of feeling like you want the ground to swallow you whole and never spit you out again, this had been that day for Artemis. When there had been an opportunity to screw everything up, it had not been wasted. Honestly, she was starting to feel like Wally himself, only with three times the bad luck. Which was _really_ saying something. 

Not one, not two, but _three_ goddamned pop quizzes, lacking the right books for a few classes, eating her lunch on the steps outside because she doubted Wally had people fighting for his presence and basically just failing at every aspect of this nerd’s life. 

Oh, and there was, of course, the fact that there was a mild possibility she’d pissed off the local beef cake. 

_”Watch where you’re going, loser.” A shoulder bumped hard into Artemis’s, throwing her frame back into a wall of lockers. Artemis raised her now green eyes, meeting a face she’d never seen before wearing an expression she was very familiar with._

_“Sorry, your strutting and the smell of insecurity distracted me. I’ll be more careful next time,” she bit back, the sass sounding almost funny in Wally’s voice. The ‘typical angry yet troubled jock’ did, however, not look amused._

_“The hell did you just say to me, West?”_

_Artemis rolled her eyes, pulling the bag strap higher onto her shoulder before turning away from the drama. She could hear Wally’s request not to mess up his life ringing in his ear and even made sure not to strut. There was nothing she wanted more than to get through this damn day but obviously, that wasn’t going to happen so easily. It really did seem karma owed her one._

_Shaking off the hand that had firmly grasped her shoulder, Artemis turned around, only to get shoved backwards. Her temper flared instantly, hands balling up into fists. Even though she was wearing Wally’s clumsy body, she was confident that she could take this guy. Upon seeing the clenched fists, Mister macho laughed._

_“Really? You do remember what happened the last time you had a go at me, right?” he mocked. Artemis barely had time to wonder whether it was funny or shocking that Wally had lost a fight with a guy whose brain was as big as an ostrich’s, as the bell blared and students filled the halls almost instantly. Through the crowd of teenagers, Artemis could feel an angry glared following her down the hall._

With great relief, Artemis turned down yet another unfamiliar street, following her phone’s trusty map back to the nearest zeta-beam. She almost expected a downpour, just to complete this shitty excuse for a day. Of course, it didn’t start to spontaneously rain. Oh, no, that would have been letting her off easy. It would be much funnier watching her deal with a robbery. _Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Showing me love=Inspiration


End file.
